Hungry Hungry Ghosts
Hey guys! So today is the start of the Chinese Ghost Month, or what we call Hungry Ghost Festival! So since I’ve written quite a bit on this festival, all the links to my entries can be found here, or on the myths featured page
This Wednesday, Imma feature some more stuff about the ghost month, so look out for that, yo!
Whoops I missed the start of the month. This is what happens when you move countries.
ugh food and family
in my house we all ate the same thing, together, even if some people didn’t like what was being made. that is how it goes down now but since i am vegan i get excluded. in the beginning it was tough because i had never cooked before but i had to because i was instantly excluded. no one wanted to cook for me, no one wanted to make a separate meal. i completely understand why my family wouldn’t want to do that but it was just very difficult. it’s not so difficult now because i know how to make food. in fact, i think i make food better than my family because since i became vegan i have completely gone out of the box. i don’t make the same thing over and over again. and if i do make a favorite i might change it up a little bit so i am not bored. food is something we share with people and at home that just isn’t what happens anymore, not with me anyway. that part is tough because even though i make my own food there is still this exclusion i am not comfortable with. i can make vegan burgers while they make meat burgers. we can share some fries! once in a blue moon i can make everyone a curry instead of me making a shitload of curry, them saying it smells so fucking good, and then they make something else. i just find it incredibly insulting. when they get takeout, they don’t even ask me if i want it. usually my answer will probably be no because they pick not so easily veganized food places but there are times i do say yes!!
i’ve spoken to them about this and it was very emotional for me because there is so much connecting when you make food for people and share it with others. and i hardly ever get to experience that.
i make them a lot of baked goods though. family, please reciprocate sometime!
I have a similar experience with IBS. Food is such a social thing. I notice it most at holidays when everyone gathers to eat food. If I can’t eat what everyone else is eating, I do feel left out. Logically I know they just want to eat what they have always eaten, but I still get upset when everyone has apple pie and ice cream for dessert except me. Whole Foods makes vegan apple pie and coconut milk ice cream… but if I want that, I usually have to bring it myself.
Oddly enough my sister became a vegetarian when she was a teenager so they had to get used to cooking differently for her. But now they’re all set in their ways and they invite me over for dinner without realizing they’re having something that’s not going to be easy on my stomach.
I don’t know if other people of Chinese ethnicity have had the same experience as me, but I found that being included in these situations (I don’t live with my parents any more, so just at holidays, family events, dinner parties and things) was a lot easier with my family than with my partner’s family. There were those ubiquitous Chinese mock meats, there’s the ease with which something stir-fried can have meat or not have meat, that sort of stuff. My partner, on the other hand, comes from a pretty English family, so we got a lot of boiled vegetables and odd looks across the table, and her grandmother freaked out that she’d never be able to cook for us ever again.
So I guess what I’m saying is, I’m glad my family were, if not supportive, than at least willing to adjust when I came over, and aware of the issues.