elaran:

#what you see here is a drop bear in training #what he’s doing here is learning the best way to chew through a person’s ankle #the only reason why the trainer hasn’t been bitten is because they are wearing a pair of socks dipped in vegemite #this warns the little drop bear that they are also from Australia and therefore not an enemy

me: There are people who will read that and BELIEVE IT DAVID! Not that I am talking about myself. 

me: But anyway. Do you have socks like that? And vegemite?

David: No. And yes. Of course I do, sometimes I go camping. 

twinfawns:

Flowers and skies were taken out of over 40 store bought puzzles and combined to form a series of spectacular landscapes by Kent Rogowski. Although puzzle pieces are unique and can only fit into one place within a puzzle they are interchangeable within a brand.

fahrbotdrusilla:

My priorities for this camera are… not normal peoples priorities.

stepharooni:

draxlry:

I CANNOT BREEEAAATTTHHHEE FJKDLSFJKLSDJFKLDSJKL

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

jhameia:

horusporus:

jhameia:

maybethings:

milodrums:

WHAT DO YOU CALL A TUNA INSIDE A CHICKEN?

…
…
…
…
…
AYAM BRAND TUNA

Just for that, I’mma ask you this.

Which is quieter, bread or coffee?

Coffee. Because Bread Talk, but kopi tiam.

TERRIBLE PEOPLE

HAHAHAHA WOULD YOU LIKE A COUPLE MORE???

1. Q: kenapa ayam suka Shakespeare?

A: Sebab ada iambic pentameter!

2. Q: Binatang apa paling besar di dunia?

A: Ikan paus?

Q: Nope.

A: Pastu?

A: Ikan paus goreng tepung!!

anddddd bonus:

Q: Mantou and char siew pau go watch movie together. Mantou didn’t cry, but char siew pau got cry. How come? (mantou = plain bun; char siew pau = pork bun)

A: Because mantou got no filling, char siew pau got filling! (filling = feeling = emotions)

Q:  And then char siew pau went to watch movie with kaya pau. Char siew pau got cry, but kaya pau laugh only. How come?

A: BECAUSE THEY BOTH GOT DIFFERENT FILLING.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I don’t get the ayam Shakespeare joke but oh god the pau joke is hurting me right now very the badly. 

AYAM BRAND TUNA

crying laughing

stephenfryshappytrail:

crippling-confusi0n:

i like this an unhealthy amount.

Adorbs.

isabelthespy:

loved this for ages but never made the connection to that line before!

wildunicornherd:

joesaunders:

If you’re like me and spent many hours watching Star Trek: The Next Generation when you were younger, then you should follow TNG Season 8 on Twitter — where some mystery person is posting log lines for the never produced eighth season of TNG.  Someone at my old job found this (it only has 15 followers right now!) and it is hilarious.  

I would totally watch this.

18 Oct. Geordie and Data nurse a space bird back to health, and are sad when they have to release it. Picard is trapped in a turbolift with a baby.

jhameia:

sir-sugartits:

Inspired by big whale and baby whale, I present to you the Princess of Whales.

OMG XDDDDDDDDDDD